15 Reasons Why Ron or Hermione Are Prats
by Miriflowers
Summary: This story is so named, because 30 was simply too much. And Ginny and Harry were feeling merciful. Note: This is a PARODY of lists. R/Hr, H/G.
1. Chapter 1: The Bet

**Okay, so I KNOW that I should be updating my other stories and I KNOW that there are billions of these out there, but I really want to do a twist on one of these because...well...there's to many out there. Anywho, this is done as a PARODY of all the lists out the, okay? So I'm partially redeemed. Also, this is set during third year; one of the alternate times when I thought Hermione first liked Ron, and when Ginny really bonds with Hermione.**

**Disclaimer: Nerp de werp. I don't own HP.**

Prologue: The Bet

Ginny sighed as Hermione told her everything. Her brother and Harry were stupid and/or oblivious. In that order, too. And so...Ginny hatched a plan. She wasn't sure it would work, but it might...

"Hey, Hermione!" she said, after they had sat in silence for a while. Hermione looked up, a film of tears over her eyes.

"Yes." Hermione answered, in a choked voice.

"I bet that you can't write a list of how Ron's a prat, even if you are this mad at him." Ginny said, grinning. Hermione sat up straight in her chair, semi-offronted.

"I can so! He's the biggest prat on the face of the planet!"

"Okay," said Ginny, shaking her head a bit, "a galleon it is, then."

And so it began...

**Short, I know, but I'm posting the second chapter immediately, so you can't judge! Third chapter'll be coming soon. Huggins!**

**-Miriflowers**


	2. Chapter 2: The List

**Okay, so I KNOW that I should be updating my other stories and I KNOW that there are billions of these out there, but I really want to do a twist on one of these because...well...there's to many out there. Anywho, this is done as a PARODY of all the lists out the, okay? So I'm partially redeemed. Also, this is set during third year; one of the alternate times when I thought Hermione first liked Ron, and when Ginny really bonds with Hermione.**

**Disclaimer: Nerp de werp. I don't own HP.**

Chapter 2: The List

**15 Reasons Why Ron Is A Prat**

1. He's ALWAYS getting into trouble with Harry.

2. He's prejudiced against the other houses. **WHAT? He's right about Slytherin, though, you have to admit...** NO, Ginny.

3. He eats like a pig. **And he smells like one too! **Ugh. No, Ginny, he does not.

4. His manner of speech is truly revolting. **OI! What've you got against my accent? **I meant his lack of tact, Ginny. **Well...then why didn't you say so? **Because it was blatantly obvious, that's why

5. He NEVER does his homework in a timely manner. **Hermione, honestly, who other than Percy and yourself does? **Numerous other students, I'm sure. **Riiiiigghht.**

6. He beats me at chess. No one EVER beats me at chess! **Hermione, get over it.** ...No.

7. He doesn't like Crookshanks. **NO ONE LIKES CROOKSHANKS!** Yes they do!** -not.** Do so! **-not.** ARGH!

8. He says Crookshanks ate Scabbers, when he DIDN'T! **I...yes, of course, Hermione. **See? Even Ginny agrees with me.

9. He keeps being a...a...**a foul, nasty git about it.** GINNY!** Erm...I'll be leaving now.**

10. Because...well, this is foolish and I know it.

11. Because I can't come up with much more, and all the rest of my reasons are pretty stupid. **I'm going to win, I'm going to win!**

12. Because he's going to hate me for killing his sister in cold blood. **Eek!**

13. Because now he's made me frighten Ginny into a corner while whimpering.** Life...so short. *wimpers***

14. He doesn't even notice that Hagrid's going through a hard time right now about Buckbeak. **Um...I just saw them a minute ago, and he and Harry were looking really distraught over a letter that looked like it was from Hagrid. **Um...they didn't even care enough to find out? **Hermione... **Fine.

15. Because...oh lord...I'm in love with him. **Oh. My. Merlin. I'm gonna have a sister!** SHUT UP GINNY! **...No. **Y. E. S. **Erm...okay?**


	3. Chapter 3: The Dare

**Hello again! I am very happy with the feed-back I have received so far! It has prompted me into writing more very, very fast! So here it is; Ron and Harry's P.O.V.s. Have fun!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter any more than I own the wind.**

Chapter 3: The Dare

Ron and Harry were in the common room, discussing quidditch practices, when Harry suddenly had an idea. He was still mad at Hermione, but that didn't change the fact that she was still one of his best friends. The problem was, both his best friends now hated each other with a passion.

"Hey Ron?" Harry asked, in what he hoped was a casual way. It wasn't.

"Hey Harry?" Ron answered in the same tone of voice. Harry was acting very weird.

"Since you're still really mad at Hermione," Ron interrupted Harry by snorting, but Harry just rolled his eyes and continued, "do you think you could write a list of WHY she's such a prat?"

Ron just stared for a minuted, dumbfounded, but then asked, "What brought this on?"

"Oh nothing, just curiosity. And out of thinking that other than the broom thing, she really hasn't done anything that bad." Harry said, shrugging. Ron immediately started to go red, but not with embarrassment, with anger.

"WHAT ABOUT SCABBERS?" He yelled, jumping up to defend his rat.

"He was really old anyways. And can Hermione control her cat?" Harry reasoned.

"Never mind about that, I'll write the bloody list. THEN you'll see." Ron huffed, bringing out some parchment, a quill, and an ink pot.

**Whe! XD That was really fun, now ON TO THE LIST!**


	4. Chapter 4: Ron's List

**Yay me! One more chapter to go! This shall be fun, and I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: For the next-to-last time; I DO NOT OWN HP! Blargh.**

Chapter 4: Ron's List

**15 Reasons Why Hermione Is A Prat**

1. Her cat ate Scabbers.** I thought we talked about this, Ron. Be reasonable!** Why?

2. She got Harry's broom taken away. **She was really worried about me getting cursed. She's just more obsessive than us. **So you don't care that now you're using the school brooms? **Ach. Why'd you have to bring those...things up? Fine. It's annoying. **AHA! I win. **But I'll forgive her.** Gah!

3. She's always nagging me about homework. **She nags EVERYONE about homework, Ron.** SHE NAGS MALFOY? **Um, not that I know of, but now that you mention it...** Why me?** I thought I'd already told you that!** Shut it, Harry.

4. She's always so bloody particular. **Don't swear, Ron, first years could get hold of this. **But, Harry, I swore back in first year too! Oh yeah, and that reminds me...

5. She nags me for swearing. **Your mum does too, and I don't see you writing 'Fifteen Reasons Why My Mum's A Prat'! **You point is?

6. She doesn't like quidditch. **Percy doesn't like quidditch.** HA! See? Percy, the perfect example of a prat, shares qualities with Hermione! I'M RIGHT!** Remind me to go beat my head against a wall repeatedly next time I was to do something like this, because it's much less painful.**

7. She's a know-it-all. **Didn't stop you before.** I repeat, "SHUT IT, HARRY!" **Eek! My poor eardrums.**

8. She rats everything we do out to McGonagal.** That's ridiculous, Ron.** But it's got me a number eight, hasn't it?

9. We always fight. **You know, I really do have nothing to say against the viability of this one.** Too right!

10. She's too protective of us. **I repeat, SO IS YOUR MOTHER! **I repeat, AND?

11. She's probably bribed Harry to make me write this list for counseling. **Merlin, that's stupid. Are you really running out of reasons THAT FAST? **...No.

12. She won't even say she's sorry that Crookshanks killed Scabbers. **Well, that is a bit unreasonable, but you're just re-hashing it. **BECAUSE IT DESERVES MULTIPLE REASONS! **...Now that's just absurd.**

13. She won't say she's sorry for getting Harry's broom taken away, either. **I'm not even going to dignify this one with a response, Ron.** But you just did!

14. She drives me mental sometimes. **...Does that even count?**

15. Because I'm...bloody hell. I think I'm...Harry, leave the room for a moment. **No. Out with it!** Erm...I think I'm in love with Hermione! Harry? HARRY? Oh, Merlin, he's fainted!** No, Ron, I haven't. WHOHO! FINALLY!** What the bloody hell is that for?** It's for breakfast, now shut it, I'm busy celebrating.**

**XD That was fun. Alas, but next chapter shall be the last. Have fun!**

**-Miriflowers**


	5. Chapter 5: The End

**Hi guys! Sorry about the wait, but my computer shut itself down (randomly) and I lost all my work! Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP!**

Chapter 5: The End

Harry panted as he ran down the hallway, a little mad that he was missing lunch for this. Why did Ginny INSIST to have the meeting in the middle of lunch? Ugh, his stomach would hate him later. he scowled a bit as he opened the door to the empty classroom, and found that Ginny was not there. he slumped into a seat and waited. Five seconds later, he could hear someone running down the hallway, and he jumped up with his wand pointed at the door. It never hurt to be cautious. Ginny flung open the door, bending over while panting. Harry put away his wand and smiled; he couldn't stay mad at her wit that happy expression on her face.

"Got it?" he asked, closing the door after her.

"Of course!" she answered, bringing out a rolled up piece of parchment and exchanging it for his own. Harry took one glance at the paper and his eyes bugged out; he had seen Hermione's last entry. Ginny did the same thing, and they looked up at the exact time.

"This is certainly unexpected, but it'll just make it easier!" Ginny said while grinning. Harry couldn't help but grin too, and then they parted ways to finish their allotted tasks.

**That Evening...**

Harry paced in the common room after a long day of lessons, and cursed everyone involved in him missing lunch. That is, until Ginny came through the portrait hole and he stopped pacing. They sat near the fire, waiting for the reactions, until thirty minutes later...

"H-...Has anyone seen Hermione?" asked Ron, parchment clutched in his hand, having just come down from the boy's dormitories.

"No, but I'll go get her if you like!" Ginny said, hopping up and running to the library without so much as an answer from Ron. Ron slumped into Ginny's recently vacated seat, and turned to Harry, who looked a little put out that Ginny wasn't there anymore.

"Do you know what Hermione wrote about me?" he asked Harry, and Harry dutifully shook his head no.

"Look." Ron said, handing the parchment to Harry without another word. Harry decided to be a good actor and giggled at all of Hermione's pet peeves, then gasped when he came to the end.

"You see? She likes me back!" Ron said, grinning for all he was worth.

"Who likes you back, Ickle Ronnikins?" said Fred, suddenly appearing next to Ron. George wasn't far behind, for he had just finished saying goodbye to Angelina.

"No one. Bugger off." Ron grunted, and snatched the parchment from Harry, but not soon enough, because Fred caught the title. And, as predicted, began to laugh hysterically. George just snatched the parchment from Ron, and read the whole thing. George's eyes widened, and he nudged Fred to get up. Fred got up, scanned the paper, nodding, then looked at the last one.

"Oh, this is just plain-" started Fred, a grin starting to form.

"Perfect!" finished George, shaking his head.

In the meantime, Hermione and Ginny came through the door, and Harry snatched back the parchment.

"This is MY plan, sod off! it's almost over, so you can tease them when it's over, so until then you know what to do." harry whispered to the twins, and Ron didn't understand a word, because he was to wrapped up in looking at Hermione. The twins both did a little salute, then they went back to talk to Lee. Having spotted Harry and Ron, Ginny and Hermione came up to them.

"Want to go to the library?" asked Hermione, and Ron responded positively. Ginny and Harry watched them go with proud looks on their faces.

"They just grow up so fast, you know?" Harry said, wiping a tear out of the corner of his eye. Ginny nodded and slumped down next to him, wiping out her own tear.

**That Night...**

"So how'd it go?" Harry asked Ron, who had come back looking very pale. Ron gulped for a moment, seeming to be rallying his courage.

"We started out good, but it ended up as a shouting fight and Madam Pince kicked us out of the library." Ron said, and Harry groaned. He supposed that it just wasn't the right time for Ron and Hermione.

"Oh well, better luck next time!" Harry said, and turned out the light. Ron sat up straight, and asked Harry in a small voice,

"What "next time", Harry? Harry, you're scaring me. HARRY!" Ron said, getting no answer.

When Ginny heard, she just threw things.

**XD Thanks for sticking with me! Sorry for the non-satisfactory ending, but I like to keep things relatively cannon. Hope you liked it!**

**-Miriflowers**


End file.
